I have a wine hangover. That and three hours of sleep under my belt, even though I'm not wearing one. I am tackling this day with a negative slant and a skewed view of society. What makes one person all-knowing? Is enlightenment power? Do I need enlightenment in order to be "good"? I have been realizing more and more that I was not the bad guy in my past relationship. Sure, I did things and said things that were not acceptable, but I was always punishing myself inside. He seemed like such an "all-knowing" boy. I put him on a pedestal. The beginning was so beautiful and full of wonder. We experienced things together I will never forget. The last two years however had become a struggle I felt like I had to continue fighting. I was scared of the outside world but wanted it badly at the same time. He couldn't reciprocate and understand these cravings I had to be free. I broke his heart, I broke mine. I cried and he cried. I am realizing how unaware of the world he actually is. How sheltered.
I feel almost liberated now. I can do anything. There is no one holding me back and I am no longer holding myself back. I want to experience life and make mistakes. That way when people are struggling and having problems I can help them and say, "I had a similar experience." That always makes me feel better, when people can relate and empathize.
My Writing for Mass Communication teacher just gave the class a lecture on fifth grade grammar. That is the first time in my life that I have ever zoned out in a class. Her voice was just drabble in my ears. Dribble drabble dribble...
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